Stupid Cupid
by Becky Sky
Summary: It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air! But a golden apple may change everything... and so may a few misunderstandings.Jay and the others have to work together to keep the girls from tearing each others' throats out... and all because of an apple!
1. Tongue Tied

Stupid Cupid

Chapter 1: Tongue-Tied

Neil loved Valentine's Day. He loved the chocolates, and he loved the way he could like himself and nobody would care. Every year, friends giggled and whispered about who they were going to present flowers to, or who was going to kiss whom. This year was no different. As he stood putting his books into his locker, he heard Jay snickering at Archie's pathetic attempt to ask Atlanta to dinner.

"Hey, Atlanta…" he began. The redheaded huntress smiled patiently. This was the tenth time he had tried to talk to her, and the tenth time he had blushed and become tongue-tied. Her hazel eyes probed him intently, and he had to look away. "Never mind."

Atlanta rolled her eyes, frustrated. "You kept me here for ten minutes for a never mind?" she snapped. "Now I'm going to be late for class."

Theresa walked up behind her, smirking. "Yeah right. Not with how fast you can run."

Atlanta glared at her. "That wasn't the point," she stressed. "I have a test today." She ran a hand through her short red hair anxiously, and then sped off down the halls.

Theresa grinned at Archie, who was staring after her forlornly. "Arch, if you're going to ask her out, you need some pointers. I'd be glad to help."

"I don't need help," Archie muttered, but Jay and Herry's suppressed snorts stated otherwise. "Fine," he mumbled, and then started off for class.

"Are you really going to give him pointers on how to ask a girl out?" Odie asked, laughing. Theresa nodded. "You guys can come to, if you want," she said, glancing slyly at Jay, who rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and grinned sheepishly.

The others could feel the sparks, and thought it was the best time to leave. "Well, see ya," Neil announced. "Got a session with Ms. Aphrodite and you know I hate being late for class…"

He marched away, and Herry ambled along after him, Odie in tow. Theresa and Jay quickly collected their books and hurried off to their next classes.

Cronus hated Valentine's Day. For him, it was a time of love and peace. But as usual, it was also a time when he could spoil the fun time with a little chaos. This year, he didn't need Eros to do his dirty work for him. He would simply get one of Eris' golden apples. He grinned. She had always been his favourite niece. He chuckled; once the girls saw this golden apple, they would be fighting amongst themselves for it, leaving the boys helpless!"

Archie stood at Theresa's door, unsure whether or not to knock or just go in. Suddenly the door opened, and Theresa stood there in a tank top and cut off jeans. "You could have come in," she said, smiling. "You've been standing there for ten minutes."

Archie shrugged and entered her room, noting the peaceful light green walls and the dream catcher in her window. She leaped gracefully onto her bed, sitting atop it cross-legged. She motioned him to take a seat. He sat down opposite her, clambering to sit comfortably. "Now," she began. "If you want to ask her out, you can't stammer like a drunk! You need to be poised, focused, and in charge of your actions! You need to slick, calm, and hot." She stared at his purple hair disapprovingly. "That hair is so not hot, Arch."

"Says you," he muttered hotly. "I don't even know why I agreed to this in the first place."

Theresa gritted her teeth in annoyance. "You agreed because you want to ask Atlanta out without blushing, biting your tongue, or looking like a total dork, right?"

"That just about sums it up," he said sarcastically.

"Okay, stop arguing! I could be doing something fun, like shopping, or going to the movies with Jay, Herry, Odie, and Neil, but no! I decided to help you!" her eyes flashed. She leaned towards him, eyes sparkling dangerously. "So you'd better be happy!"

At that moment Atlanta walked by, peeking in Theresa's open doorway. What she saw made her heart jump into her throat. Theresa was leaning towards Archie, and it looked as though they were about to kiss! She turned away and quickly rushed down the hall to her room, hardly believing what her eyes had seen. But then her jealousy and anger took over her, and she was determined not to let Theresa get her Archie, ever!

That night Archie fell into bed, exhausted. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and tried to fall asleep. Theresa had given him a headache from all the information she had told him. "You have to find your inner calm," she had said, and encouraged him to meditate.

"What does this have to do with anything?" he asked. She had rolled her eyes exasperatingly.

"You have to find your calm if you're going to practice asking Atlanta out without getting flustered," she had explained.

Archie groaned and rolled over, trying not to forget everything, but trying to fall asleep.

Jay sat at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of orange juice before retiring to bed when Theresa came and collapsed into a chair, pouring herself a glass of water. She drank thirstily, then sat back and sighed.

"Busy night?" Jay asked. "How'd it go with Archie?"

Theresa moaned. "Don't mention that name! He was such a pain! I don't know how much actually sank in, so I'm continuing my 'tutoring' of him tomorrow."

Jay shook his head, grinning. "That's our Archie, always messing things up."

"That's an understatement. So… what do you have planned for us, I mean, the gang of course on Valentine's Day? Are we all going to go to a movie or what?"

"I'm not sure yet, but if you have any ideas, I'm open for them."

Theresa furrowed her brow. "I'll think of something," she promised. "I don't want a dance. They're a bit too boring. I want to go somewhere romantic, just the team. Anyway, I'll get back to you on it." She got up to leave, placing her glass in the sink. "Oh, and Jay, are you sure you don't want any of my advice?" she asked sweetly, winking mischievously. Jay gulped and blushed.

"Uhhh…"

Theresa grinned. "Guys, you're all the same." Then she turned and strode out of the kitchen to bed.


	2. You're Such A Fruit!

Chapter 2: You're Such a Fruit!

The next morning Herry was up earlier than usual. It was five o'clock am and he was busy cutting paper and gluing pieces together. He was working with such fierce concentration that he didn't hear the footsteps until almost too late. He had just enough time to clear the table of his work when Atlanta walked in, plopping herself down at the table with an ugly scowl.

"What's your problem?" Herry asked. Atlanta was prone to moods, but she was never this bad in the morning. In fact, she was usually the hyper one, teasing Theresa for not being a morning person, and taunting Archie about bed head while the others grumbled at her.

But today it was Theresa who smiled cheerfully at the others, grinning at Atlanta as she glowered. "Who's grumpy today?" she asked. Atlanta ignored her. Theresa looked surprised, and a little hurt.

"Atlanta?" she asked uncertainly. "Are you all right?"

Atlanta jumped up. "You should know!" she exploded. "What did you think you were doing?" she yelled. Theresa looked astonished.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're such a fruit! You know what I mean!"

Theresa glared at her. "Do people even say that anymore?" she screamed back. Atlanta grabbed a few apples from the fruit bowl and started throwing them. One hit Theresa in the cheek. Yelping, she grabbed a pear and threw it with deadly accuracy. It hit Atlanta in the stomach, and she keeled over, gasping for breath. Jay grabbed Theresa's arms and held her back as Archie helped Atlanta out of the room. Atlanta noticed this and tried her best to flutter her eyelashes flirtatiously, but it ended up being more of a twitch as she struggled for breath.

Archie patted her back consolingly, wondering what had gotten into her. As soon as Atlanta recovered her breath, she stood up and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh thank you, Archie," she purred. Archie thought he would faint. Who needed Theresa's help? He seemed to be doing fine on his own.

"Ga… gads…ha..." he couldn't find the words. Atlanta was insulted… He could talk to _Theresa_ without sounding like a sheep, but he couldn't even grace her with normal behaviour! She pushed him away and stalked off, leaving Archie baffled and wondering.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Theresa was fuming while she pressed an ice pack to her bruised cheek. Sitting at the table, she banged her fist against it, wincing as she got a sliver. "Ouch."

"What was that about?" Jay asked the question everyone was speculating about. Theresa shrugged.

"I've got no idea," she murmured. "I was just trying to defend myself." She frowned. "I hope it doesn't last long."

Herry sighed. "I think that was the least boring breakfast ever."

Just then Athena strode in, her tiny lean frame stiffening when she saw the mess of fruit scattered on the floor. "What happened here?" she cried, hands on her hips.

"The girls got into a little catfight," Neil tattled. Theresa glared at him, while Athena looked surprised. "That's very surprising," she said. "I'll see you and Atlanta in detention after school."

"For what?" Theresa cried. "I didn't do anything!"

"You _both_ caused a disturbance in the brownstone," she said calmly. "That's why." She turned on her heel and walked out of the dorm. Theresa was angry. "Where is she!" she fumed, leaping up. "I'm going to go and kick her –"

"Umm, Theresa, sit down and calm yourself," Jay said hurriedly, grabbing her arm, and forcing her to take a seat. Theresa yanked herself free and stalked out of the room.

"Tell Atlanta about the detention," she mumbled on her way out. "There's no way I'm serving that thing by myself."

"Poor Theresa," Odie sympathized. The others nodded.

"What's up with Atlanta anyway?" Herry asked as Archie came in, his face perplexed, and deep in thought.

"Hmm?" Archie asked, snapping out of his daze.

"Do you know what's with Atlanta?" Jay repeated. Archie shook his head.

"I'm as clueless as you are," he answered. He checked his watch. "We'd better get going, or else we're going to be late. Atlanta!" he called, ignoring the other's "NO!" gestures.

The girl bounded through, not stopping to look at her friends or even acknowledge their existence. "Oh, Atlanta, you have a detention after school today!" Neil sang after her. They all heard the muttered curse as Atlanta barged through the front door, running into the streets and over to the school.

Cronus stroked his sparse beard thoughtfully. He was trying to decide how to lure the heroes close enough that he could roll the apple into their midst. He could make a disturbance somewhere…or… he grinned. He could make even more chaos. He turned to the handsome young man next to him. "You're lucky I gave you another chance to come back," he said.

The man, tall, tanned, and blonde, glared at him. "I didn't have much of a choice. You said I could get my love back too, but only if I do this for you."

Cronus nodded. He handed the man a shiny golden apple. "You know the drill; pretend to fall in love with both the girls, and then give them this golden apple. While they fight over it, the team will be weakened, and I can attack. If I succeed, you will get your lover, and you can live in peace in the world I will conquer!"

The youth nodded, his big blue eyes glistening with determination. "I will do as you say, Cronus."

He began to walk away into the busy streets. "Don't fail me, Paris!" Cronus shouted. "Or else you will wish you had never been born!"

Paris shuddered at the thought. The things I do for the sake of love, he thought. He looked down at the picture of the two girls he was supposed to woo. One was tall and fiery haired, with brilliant green eyes and a wide smile. The other was shorter, with brilliant flaming hair and hazel eyes which sparked with attitude. They were both very pretty, but Paris felt more drawn to the first one; she reminded him more of his love, Helen of Sparta. She seemed more feminine and soft. He wouldn't have any qualms about hanging out with her. But the other one looked too rash and temperamental.

Paris wondered what would happen if he actually fell in love with one of them: would he have to dump Helen, or would Cronus let that girl live when he destroyed the human race? He tried not to think about this and focus on his mission: to make two teens fall in love with him and turn against each other over an apple…

**A/n: Hope you like this so far! Please review! Luv, Becky**


	3. Detentions and Love At First Sight

Chapter 3: Detentions and Love At First Sight- Literally!

Atlanta stomped down the halls towards Room 202, where she was to serve her detention for Athena. For what, she didn't know, and she didn't really care right then. She just wanted to save Archie from her back-stabbing, girly-girl of a friend… She blinked, surprised at herself. This was the first time she had let jealousy come between her and Theresa's friendship. Guilt tried to consume her, but she shrugged it off. It wasn't her fault; it was Theresa who was making the moves on _her_ crush. Feeling a bit better about things (although not a whole lot better), Atlanta walked into the classroom and sat down to wait for Athena to arrive.

She laid her head down on one of the cold hard desk tops and closed her eyes, daydreaming. She wondered about the day when she'd kick Theresa's butt and show Archie how cool she was. She blushed and opened her eyes to see the bluest pair she had ever seen. Startled, she yelped and leaned back, falling out of her chair.

The young man who was her acquaintance glanced down at her in concern, stooping to help her up. As their hands met, Atlanta felt tingles run up and down her arms and body, giving her a warm, giddy feeling. She felt like she did after she'd just come home from boarding with Archie. Archie. The name was enough to snap her out of her bewilderedness. She hurriedly got up to her feet and thanked the handsome youth. But his eyes held her gaze, and she couldn't bear to look away. She felt as though she could look into his eyes forever. She smiled dreamily and squeezed his hand tightly.

Suddenly she was being yanked back, and she whirled to see Theresa glaring at her spitefully. "Sorry," Theresa snapped at her visitor. "We're in detention. We don't have time to be _socializing_." She gave Atlanta a pointed look, which Atlanta returned with a stuck out tongue. Since when had Theresa gotten there? And why was she here in the first place?

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"For the same detention you're here for," Theresa replied. She stared at her visitor, and her eyes widened as his blue eyes brought her under the same spell that had captivated Atlanta.

"What's your name?" Theresa asked sweetly. Atlanta frowned, annoyed. NOW Theresa was making the moves on the guy Atlanta had seen first! She pushed Theresa aside and fluttered her eyelashes, something she had mastered after practicing all day during classes. Theresa crossed her arms, put out, and she stuck out a foot to trip Atlanta. She fell forward, but inwardly thanked Theresa as the golden-haired youth caught her in his arms, smiling down at her with a pearl white smile. Atlanta's heart melted and she leaned closer to him, inhaling the strong cologne that he wore. She smiled, and laid her head against his shoulder. Theresa gasped, jealousy creeping over her.

"He's mine!" she shrieked. "He's mine…" she glanced at him. "What's your name, anyway?"

**A/n: Just a really short funny chapter to give a hint of the antics of Atlanta and Theresa in the upcoming chapters… please tell me what you think! Luv, Becky**


	4. Golden Date

Chapter 4: Golden Date

"Paris." Theresa and Atlanta nearly fainted. That was such a romantic name; a name full of hope and light.

Theresa pulled Atlanta out of Paris' hold and took his hand, smiling sweetly at him. "I'm off detention in an hour," she whispered, squeezing his hand tightly. "We could go and grab a coffee or something." Hint, hint, she thought. He smiled.

"I'd love to," he replied. Atlanta gaped. "What about ME?" she whined, her lower lip stuck out in a pout.

"Since when do you ever care about yourself?" Theresa retorted. Atlanta lunged at her, but Theresa deflected her hit with an arm block. Paris intervened, flashing his hypnotizing smile at them.

"Ladies, ladies. We can all go together… the three of us." Theresa and Atlanta glared at each other, but they reluctantly agreed.

"See you in an hour," they chorused, waving as he left the room. A few minutes later Athena strolled in, and the girls both sat down to start their hour vigil.

An hour later, Theresa was heading to the café in downtown New Olympia. Atlanta had sped off ahead of her, but Theresa had taken some time to put on makeup and look good for him. She heard someone skating up behind her, and she turned to see Archie speeding up next to her, his board keeping pace.

"So, where are you heading to? Going to meet Jay?" he teased.

"Hmm? No, Paris," she said absently. "With Atlanta." Archie was so surprised that he nearly stopped boarding, and as Theresa went on ahead, he slowed down, trying to decide what to do next. He decided to spy on Theresa, Atlanta, and Paris and see what happened. The last time a strange dude had shown up, Archie had gotten a queer feeling in his stomach, and today was no different. And the last time it had happened, Atlanta was in danger. He shuddered. He couldn't bear that thought. With this in mind, he got out his PMR and called Jay, who would be equally worried…and _jealous_ about Theresa.

"Jay," he said into the communicator. "We've got a problem on our hands," he whispered as he rounded the corner of the street. The café, with Theresa and Atlanta sitting with another young man inside, came into view. "Oh man," Archie muttered. "Jay, this is worse than I thought. This guy isn't a Pan…he's a 'hunk.'"

He heard Jay groan on the other end of the line. "Great, just great."

"Maybe they're hypnotized?" Archie asked hopefully.

"Or maybe not," Jay said pessimistically. "Maybe I should have taken lessons with you. I'll be there as soon as possible. Just stay there…oh and Archie, DON"T do anything stupid."

Archie blushed and turned off the PMR, but not before muttering, "Like you'll do when you get here?"

Inside the café, in one of the green leather seats, Theresa lounged comfortably beside Paris, Atlanta on his other side. Theresa didn't usually drink coffee, but she wanted to look mature and dignified. She had ordered a latté, but the moment she had taken a sip, she thought she would puke. She could hear Atlanta's snickering behind her. When she had noticed Paris wasn't watching, she had thrown it out and ordered a hot chocolate instead. He'd hardly be able to notice it since both hot chocolate and coffee were served in the same cups.

Meanwhile Atlanta had ordered a Coke and was sipping it thirstily. She offered some to Paris, and he took it uncertainly. Theresa frowned; he acted as though he'd never even seen a Coke before. As he sipped it, a look of bliss came over his handsome features, and he sat back and sighed. He really has never had this before, Theresa thought. Her eyes traveled over his muscular arms and she smiled. No wonder he had such great biceps. Herry couldn't beat him.

Theresa watched with a lopsided, dreamy look on her face. She leaned forward; head on her hands, and let her eyes feast on him.

Atlanta looked annoyed. "Theresa, go and get Paris and I some food," she demanded impatiently.

Her friend-turned-rival crossed her arms indignantly. "Get your own food!" she cried indignantly.

"I would if I wasn't worried you'd steal my boyfriend!"

"YOUR boyfriend? Excuse me, I didn't know you were calling dibs!"

Atlanta lunged at Theresa, knocking her to the floor, but Theresa kicked her back and jumped to her feet. Scaling the table, she jumped onto Atlanta, wrapping her arms around her neck in a choker's hold. Atlanta fell, dragging Theresa down with her. They collapsed to the ground in a heap of legs and arms.

Paris saw his opportunity and casually let the golden apple roll in front of the two. Its golden skin shone like the sun, temporarily blinding the two with its light. The girls cried out, shielding their eyes. But when they looked again, there was a golden fruit right in front of them. Inscribed in it were the words, _For the most beautiful_. Once the girls read those words, desire for the apple engulfed them, washing away their common sense and sense of control.

"The most beautiful," Theresa breathed, and then glanced sharply at Atlanta, whose own eyes were shining with a golden sheen. The spell of the apple had taken effect.

Jay ran towards where Archie was standing, tapping his foot impatiently. "It took you long enough to get here," Archie grumbled. "Come on, the girls are with some dude named Paris."

Jay froze. "PARIS? You mean the dude who stole Helen of Troy from her husband, and caused the Trojan War?"

Archie thought Jay was crazy. "Sorry to rain on your parade, Jay, but that was kinda like TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING!"

Jay shook his head. "Cronus," he muttered. "This is worse than we thought."

Archie sighed. "Maybe, but why oh why can't you maybe accept that Theresa likes someone else?" Jay glared at him.

"Oh yeah? Well what about Atlanta? She isn't here kissing your feet, is she? Mind telling me where she is? In there, with Theresa and Paris! So don't go saying stuff like that!"

"Take a chill pill, Jay," Archie muttered, and then shook his head. "Whoa, Jay, have you noticed that we're becoming as petty as the girls? If we're going to save them from Paris or whoever the heck this nut is, we have to keep our cool."

Jay agreed. "Truce," he said, extending his hand to shake. Archie took it, and then the boys hurried towards the café, hoping that it wasn't too late.

Meanwhile Cronus laughed maniacally. His plan was going better than he could have ever hoped for; the girls were playing their roles perfectly, and he hadn't even counted on the boys' feelings for the girls to create even more tension! He rubbed his hands together in contentment. Valentine's Day was two days away, and if his plan continued the way it was going, Theresa and Atlanta would have killed each other by then!


End file.
